Out of the mouths of babes

Kids say the funniest things, and sometimes they just happen to be hurtful. For some reason, my kids happen to be the most BRUTALLY honest kids I have ever met. They seem to lack a filter regarding what comes out of their mouths.

For about a week straight after I got out of the hospital, baby sister wouldn't let me out of her sight, even during the wee hours of the night. My usual twelve-hour sleep loving princess thought it best to just stay up all night to make sure Momma didn't disappear. I didn't have the strength, energy, or heart to fight with her, so I would just get up and take her to the living room, turn cartoons on (I'm bad....I know!), and lay down in the recliner with her sitting right on top of me.

On one particular night, I kept dozing off while she watched cartoons and tried to carry a conversation on with me. I awoke to her squeezing my face, saying, "Mommy, Mommy. Does God have wings?" No, honey, God doesn't have wings, now go to sleep. Just a few moments later, "Mommy, Mommy. Can God fly?" Sweetheart, I don't know if God can fly. I don't think he has the need to. And then, "Mommy, Mommy." I am waiting for another silly question about God's magical attributes, but instead I hear, in the most angelic voice possible........"How did you get so fat?" Gee, thanks, princess. Mommy loves you too.

And, so, out of the mouths of babes comes many things: funny questions about lofty things, heartfelt sentiments of love, and more often than not, brutally honest statements that literally make you laugh out loud.

Love is....

Laughing at one another until your sides ache.

Forgiving without reservation.

Doing something you don't want to, just to make the other happy.

Eating bland meal after meal while your wife learns how to cook.

Enjoying the monotony of everyday life.

Watching reruns of favorite shows together.

Going grocery shopping on date night and being content with that.

Holding hands in the car, even after nine years of marriage.

Not seeing the extra pounds the other has accumulated over the years.

Shaving your wif'e's head and then telling her she is beautiful.

Saying til death do us part....and meaning it.

I realize it has been awhile, and alot has definitely gone on in the past few months. What, you ask? Well, I will tell you.

For one, God has been doing a major work in mine and my husband's marriage. Toward the end of August, we came to what looked like the end of the road for us. Our problems seemed insurmountable, and the "world" was telling us to give up...there was no hope for such a broken relationship. However, we didn't listen to the world, we listened to God and valued the sacred promise we had made to each other before Him. With the help of an amazing Christian counselor, we have worked through our problems. Through God's grace, I can truly say that our marriage is stronger today than it has ever been, and I have a new found love for my husband and for my Savior. God took two selfish, cold-hearted, angry individuals, and molded us into one loving, compassionate, and forgiving couple. Praise His Name!! I am not saying that our marriage is perfect or that we will never encounter another problem or argument, but what I am saying is that we have learned what a biblical marriage should consist of, and we both conspire on a daily basis to fulfill God's purpose in our marriage. And what is the purpose of our marriage? To glorify Him. And, we are learning how to every single day.

I also had my brain surgery to insert the VP shunt on October 29th. I can honestly say that I had never felt God's peace and presence in my life as much as I did on that day. The burden and fear was just too much to carry myself, so I gladly gave it all to Him. Chad prayed over me before they wheeled me out of the room, and I have never seen him look so scared. While they were wheeling me back to the OR, I had a sudden realization. In that moment, I couldn't rely on my parents, my friends, my children, or even my husband...God was all I had, and He was definitely all I needed. Though I would have liked to, I couldn't take my hubby back to that OR with me. My loving Savior was the only One who could accompany me every step of the way, and I wouldn't want it any other way. The surgery went as well as expected, and it was obvious to my neurosurgeon after encountering so much spinal fluid inside my brain that this shunt was definitely necessary. I cannot describe the pain that I felt for the first few days after, and to be honest, alot of the time in the hospital was a blur. I somehow got an infection in my neck where they had threaded the shunt tubing through, and the infection kept getting worse. Dr McG came in one Sunday afternoon and gave me the awful news that if the infection didn't go away by the next morning that they would have to take the shunt out and redo the entire surgery. I was devastated, and called Chad (who was out to lunch with some of our friends who live close to the hospital) to let him know. I think he texted everyone he knew requesting their prayers, and our church had special prayer for me as well. God answered those prayers, and when I woke up the next morning, the swelling had decreased tremendously and the doctors said the infection was rapidly healing. I was in the hospital for five days, and Chad took such good care of me the entire time. He never once complained about anything he had to do for me, and he so lovingly and willingly met my every need. It has been a long recovery process, but God has been with me (and He will continue to be with me) every step of the way. I am still having severe headaches, and the doctors are not sure that the shunt is working as it should be, so I will be going to see Dr McG on Friday, and he will be sending me for some tests afterwards. Please pray that they can figure out what is going on with this crazy shunt so that I can start feeling good and get back to my old self. Chad is still doing most everything around here, and as strange as it sounds, I can't wait to get back to my cooking, cleaning, laundering, errand-running, shopping, loafing, and kid chauffering!! I will post some pics later of my awesome scar and shaved head.

I have so much to thank God for. This was truly a Thanksgiving full of thanksgiving. I do not deserve all of the blessings He gives me, but I will gladly take them.

Not My Child! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I will preface this by saying that the majority of what NEVER happens to me is typically not caused by my 5-year-old little man. He was born a preemie, and he just came out fighting. Needless to say, the fight has never left him.

This past week, I certainly did not have one of the worst weeks of my life. My son was not singlehandedly responsible for one of those extremely horrific days. While watching tv with the kiddos one day, I did not find myself dozing off, as they were sitting ever so calmly... one by my side and the other on my back. I was not awakened to little man in my face saying, "Look what I did to my hair, Mommy." My eyes began to focus and this is what I did NOT see: My son's beautiful, long blonde hair chopped off on top...to the skin...with kitchen scissors. I did not proceed to shriek and then turn around to realize that he had not also given his sister a nice little hair cut as well. Her long, beautiful, dark brown curls were not gone, and she was not also nearly scalped in some places. What kind of a mother would fall asleep while watching tv with her kids? Not me. I get a full night's rest every single night, and I am NEVER worn out or exhausted by my children's antics or their sometimes crazy schedules. I am the picture of readiness and alertness. Or something like that.

My children are always so well-behaved. They would never throw fits, especially in public. I mean, seriously. They would not even think about it. This week was not a particularly stressful one, and you can not see that written all over their faces. Thus, at Sunday dinner yesterday with 15 members of our family (at Texas Roadhouse...my fav!), both little ones did not cry and cling to me, begging to be carried. They are way more mature than that. They did not refuse to be carried by any other member of my family, and when I chose one to carry, the other did not scream and cry all of the way to the table. I did not quickly feed little man the free rolls, rush order mac-n-cheese for baby sister, feed them as quickly as possible, and leave my favorite restaurant without even eating. My children would never stress me out that much. NEVER.

Little man also does not start pre-kindergarten on Thursday. Not my tiny little baby who fit in the palm of my hand when we brought him home from the hospital. He could NOT be starting school already! Where has the time gone??? At registration, he was most definitely not the clingy, crying, fit-throwing, mama-hugging child that every parent glares at. NOT my son. He is totally not babified or spoiled like that. That same boy did not surprise me at orientation when he did wonderfully! On the other hand he also did not embarass both his parents when he went to visit his teacher this morning while taking big sister to school. He spoke to the teacher and did not proceed to teach him the basics of pre-kindergarten farting, er, I mean gas expulsion. Not my child!!! And through all of the frustrations, crises, and stressful times I experience with my kiddos, I most certainly do not love them more than life itself. Not me.

The good, the bad, and the really ugly

A lot has been going on around here lately. Some good things, some bad things, and some really ugly things.

My symptoms with pseudotumor cerebri have progressively been getting worse. I had an appointment with my neurosurgeon, Dr.McG, a few weeks ago and he informed me that things didn't appear to be getting better and in his medical opinion (which I so highly respect) it is time to, shall we say, bite the bullet and have the shunt surgery performed. We discussed all of the risks and benefits and the procedure in detail. He sent me to have an MRI done to determine what type of shunt would work best for me. The V-shunt that is placed directly into the brain, though it's rather scary for me, seems like it will be what works best, but I guess we will find out for sure when Dr. McG gets the results and notifies me. The shunt will work continuously to remove the extra spinal fluid that surrounds my brain, thus keeping my spinal pressure low and alleviating alot of the symptoms I am having. Though I am definitely NOT excited to shave my head and have my head cut open, I am sooo looking forward to reaping the benefits that the shunt will bestown upon me. Please keep me in your prayers, because I am really nervous/scared/anxious, and just about any other emotion you can think of!!

The news gets even uglier. My brother's wife who was expecting their first child in February, learned this past week that she had lost the baby. They are completely heartbroken, as is the whole family. The army granted my brother a week of leave so they could come home and be with family during this difficult time. We got to spend the whole day with them yesterday, and this evening our family went out to dinner, and then they came over to our house to hang out. We have been able to have quite a few laughs which I think has helped tremendously. They say laughter is the best medicine. Well, in my brother's case, tattoos are. He and his wife got matching tattoos of a baby with wings. If you could, would you please pray for them? There are alot of private issues that make this even harder for them, and they are certainly in need of your prayers.

And, finally, some good news. There is a personal issue that I have really been struggling with lately, and I am happy to say that things seem to be improving. I'll be honest, it's not fixed, and the road ahead is a long one, but things are definitely looking up.

Most importantly, I am thankful for a God who is with me ALL of the time. He never leaves me or forsakes me. Through the calm and through the storm, He is ALWAYS beside me. I guess you could say that He is a God through the good, the bad, and even the really ugly.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This past week I absolutely did not let my three-year-old daughter turn back into a baby while we were at the beach. That did not include lugging her around on my hip all week, letting her have a binky (which she hasn't taken in a loooong time), or rocking her to sleep every single night. That would just not be good for her development, so I wouldn't do such a thing.

On said trip, I also did not feed the kids cookies and chips for breakfast or lunch, or encourage them to, ahem, pee in the ocean, or maybe even the pool. That is disgusting, and I would never encourage them to do that just so I didn't have to trudge around with two little sand covered bodies trying to find the nearest restroom. But, they did go #2 in actual potties, and I definitely did not make little man wipe his own bottom because I couldnt' stand the stench of the restroom at the waterpark. I wouldn't make him do that.

And my husband is not such a tightwad that I did not have to confront his lie (in front of a waitress nonetheless) when he tried to say that baby sister was 2. He knows she just had a birthday and turned 3.

I am ALWAYS completely honest with my children, and I would never lie or use scare tactics to trick them into being good. Not me! Thus, when both of the little ones cried and fought the entire nine hour drive to the beach, this conversation did not happen between Ethan and myself.

Mommy: You better be quiet, Ethan. We are getting ready to pass a cop car. Oh, here it comes!!

Ethan: Where? Where? I didn't see no policeman.

Mommy: Oh, you didn't? It was an undercover one.

At this point he starts crying uncontrollably.

Ethan: Liar! You lied to me!! Why would you lie to me, Mommy??!!

I most certainly did not get caught up in a lie by my five year old son. Christians don't lie, and Mommys don't lie to thier precious little children. So, I definitely wouldn't. NOT ME!!

"Not my child" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday!, with a special Not my child! edition. This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else (and their children) have not been doing this week.

My five-year-old son certainly is not the most outgoing, unreserved, unhumiliatable, brutally honest child that was ever born. Definitely not my son. He certainly never embarasses me or makes my chubby cheeks turn bright pink. Never. For instance, while at the beach this past week, upon meeting a mom and her young daughter, he certainly did not loudly exclaim for ALL to hear, "I was having a great time playing until THIS BRAT showed up." Not my son, and I was not cringing while looking for a large rock to crawl under. He did not learn a new name for his privates and try to incorporate that word into as many conversations as possible....he wouldn't do something like that. And on two separate trips to Wal-Mart, he most certainly did not make me wish I was invisible, first by hopping out of the van and peeing on the tires while shoppers near and far were given an unforgetable image. Furthermore, a male shopper was not overheard telling his family, "Hey, when you gotta go you gotta go....I wish sometimes I could do that!" On the second trip, he did not pretend he was driving in the front seat and hold up his toy rifle shooting passersby while singing Chris Tomlin's "I Will Rise." Definitely not my son. And he was also not the child honking the horn everytime someone walked directly infront of our vehicle startling them and making them jump. That was not him, he just would not do something like that. And, most importantly, my son always keeps his thoughts to himself and is always worried about hurting someone's feelings with brutal statements. He would NEVER say something that could crush someone's feelings and make them emotionally raw. I mean NEVER. So, I did not overhear him telling his daddy, whom, by the way, has been working out and dieting for a few weeks and is trying so hard to shed those unnecessary pounds, "Man, daddy, you sure are getting fat. Your belly is all the way 'out to here'." He just wouldn't crush someone like that. Not my son.