Welcome to Not Me! Monday!, with a special Not my child! edition. This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else (and their children) have not been doing this week.
My five-year-old son certainly is not the most outgoing, unreserved, unhumiliatable, brutally honest child that was ever born. Definitely not my son. He certainly never embarasses me or makes my chubby cheeks turn bright pink. Never. For instance, while at the beach this past week, upon meeting a mom and her young daughter, he certainly did not loudly exclaim for ALL to hear, "I was having a great time playing until THIS BRAT showed up." Not my son, and I was not cringing while looking for a large rock to crawl under. He did not learn a new name for his privates and try to incorporate that word into as many conversations as possible....he wouldn't do something like that. And on two separate trips to Wal-Mart, he most certainly did not make me wish I was invisible, first by hopping out of the van and peeing on the tires while shoppers near and far were given an unforgetable image. Furthermore, a male shopper was not overheard telling his family, "Hey, when you gotta go you gotta go....I wish sometimes I could do that!" On the second trip, he did not pretend he was driving in the front seat and hold up his toy rifle shooting passersby while singing Chris Tomlin's "I Will Rise." Definitely not my son. And he was also not the child honking the horn everytime someone walked directly infront of our vehicle startling them and making them jump. That was not him, he just would not do something like that. And, most importantly, my son always keeps his thoughts to himself and is always worried about hurting someone's feelings with brutal statements. He would NEVER say something that could crush someone's feelings and make them emotionally raw. I mean NEVER. So, I did not overhear him telling his daddy, whom, by the way, has been working out and dieting for a few weeks and is trying so hard to shed those unnecessary pounds, "Man, daddy, you sure are getting fat. Your belly is all the way 'out to here'." He just wouldn't crush someone like that. Not my son.
