Not My Child! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I will preface this by saying that the majority of what NEVER happens to me is typically not caused by my 5-year-old little man. He was born a preemie, and he just came out fighting. Needless to say, the fight has never left him.

This past week, I certainly did not have one of the worst weeks of my life. My son was not singlehandedly responsible for one of those extremely horrific days. While watching tv with the kiddos one day, I did not find myself dozing off, as they were sitting ever so calmly... one by my side and the other on my back. I was not awakened to little man in my face saying, "Look what I did to my hair, Mommy." My eyes began to focus and this is what I did NOT see: My son's beautiful, long blonde hair chopped off on top...to the skin...with kitchen scissors. I did not proceed to shriek and then turn around to realize that he had not also given his sister a nice little hair cut as well. Her long, beautiful, dark brown curls were not gone, and she was not also nearly scalped in some places. What kind of a mother would fall asleep while watching tv with her kids? Not me. I get a full night's rest every single night, and I am NEVER worn out or exhausted by my children's antics or their sometimes crazy schedules. I am the picture of readiness and alertness. Or something like that.

My children are always so well-behaved. They would never throw fits, especially in public. I mean, seriously. They would not even think about it. This week was not a particularly stressful one, and you can not see that written all over their faces. Thus, at Sunday dinner yesterday with 15 members of our family (at Texas Roadhouse...my fav!), both little ones did not cry and cling to me, begging to be carried. They are way more mature than that. They did not refuse to be carried by any other member of my family, and when I chose one to carry, the other did not scream and cry all of the way to the table. I did not quickly feed little man the free rolls, rush order mac-n-cheese for baby sister, feed them as quickly as possible, and leave my favorite restaurant without even eating. My children would never stress me out that much. NEVER.

Little man also does not start pre-kindergarten on Thursday. Not my tiny little baby who fit in the palm of my hand when we brought him home from the hospital. He could NOT be starting school already! Where has the time gone??? At registration, he was most definitely not the clingy, crying, fit-throwing, mama-hugging child that every parent glares at. NOT my son. He is totally not babified or spoiled like that. That same boy did not surprise me at orientation when he did wonderfully! On the other hand he also did not embarass both his parents when he went to visit his teacher this morning while taking big sister to school. He spoke to the teacher and did not proceed to teach him the basics of pre-kindergarten farting, er, I mean gas expulsion. Not my child!!! And through all of the frustrations, crises, and stressful times I experience with my kiddos, I most certainly do not love them more than life itself. Not me.