Not My Child! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I will preface this by saying that the majority of what NEVER happens to me is typically not caused by my 5-year-old little man. He was born a preemie, and he just came out fighting. Needless to say, the fight has never left him.

This past week, I certainly did not have one of the worst weeks of my life. My son was not singlehandedly responsible for one of those extremely horrific days. While watching tv with the kiddos one day, I did not find myself dozing off, as they were sitting ever so calmly... one by my side and the other on my back. I was not awakened to little man in my face saying, "Look what I did to my hair, Mommy." My eyes began to focus and this is what I did NOT see: My son's beautiful, long blonde hair chopped off on top...to the skin...with kitchen scissors. I did not proceed to shriek and then turn around to realize that he had not also given his sister a nice little hair cut as well. Her long, beautiful, dark brown curls were not gone, and she was not also nearly scalped in some places. What kind of a mother would fall asleep while watching tv with her kids? Not me. I get a full night's rest every single night, and I am NEVER worn out or exhausted by my children's antics or their sometimes crazy schedules. I am the picture of readiness and alertness. Or something like that.

My children are always so well-behaved. They would never throw fits, especially in public. I mean, seriously. They would not even think about it. This week was not a particularly stressful one, and you can not see that written all over their faces. Thus, at Sunday dinner yesterday with 15 members of our family (at Texas Roadhouse...my fav!), both little ones did not cry and cling to me, begging to be carried. They are way more mature than that. They did not refuse to be carried by any other member of my family, and when I chose one to carry, the other did not scream and cry all of the way to the table. I did not quickly feed little man the free rolls, rush order mac-n-cheese for baby sister, feed them as quickly as possible, and leave my favorite restaurant without even eating. My children would never stress me out that much. NEVER.

Little man also does not start pre-kindergarten on Thursday. Not my tiny little baby who fit in the palm of my hand when we brought him home from the hospital. He could NOT be starting school already! Where has the time gone??? At registration, he was most definitely not the clingy, crying, fit-throwing, mama-hugging child that every parent glares at. NOT my son. He is totally not babified or spoiled like that. That same boy did not surprise me at orientation when he did wonderfully! On the other hand he also did not embarass both his parents when he went to visit his teacher this morning while taking big sister to school. He spoke to the teacher and did not proceed to teach him the basics of pre-kindergarten farting, er, I mean gas expulsion. Not my child!!! And through all of the frustrations, crises, and stressful times I experience with my kiddos, I most certainly do not love them more than life itself. Not me.

The good, the bad, and the really ugly

A lot has been going on around here lately. Some good things, some bad things, and some really ugly things.

My symptoms with pseudotumor cerebri have progressively been getting worse. I had an appointment with my neurosurgeon, Dr.McG, a few weeks ago and he informed me that things didn't appear to be getting better and in his medical opinion (which I so highly respect) it is time to, shall we say, bite the bullet and have the shunt surgery performed. We discussed all of the risks and benefits and the procedure in detail. He sent me to have an MRI done to determine what type of shunt would work best for me. The V-shunt that is placed directly into the brain, though it's rather scary for me, seems like it will be what works best, but I guess we will find out for sure when Dr. McG gets the results and notifies me. The shunt will work continuously to remove the extra spinal fluid that surrounds my brain, thus keeping my spinal pressure low and alleviating alot of the symptoms I am having. Though I am definitely NOT excited to shave my head and have my head cut open, I am sooo looking forward to reaping the benefits that the shunt will bestown upon me. Please keep me in your prayers, because I am really nervous/scared/anxious, and just about any other emotion you can think of!!

The news gets even uglier. My brother's wife who was expecting their first child in February, learned this past week that she had lost the baby. They are completely heartbroken, as is the whole family. The army granted my brother a week of leave so they could come home and be with family during this difficult time. We got to spend the whole day with them yesterday, and this evening our family went out to dinner, and then they came over to our house to hang out. We have been able to have quite a few laughs which I think has helped tremendously. They say laughter is the best medicine. Well, in my brother's case, tattoos are. He and his wife got matching tattoos of a baby with wings. If you could, would you please pray for them? There are alot of private issues that make this even harder for them, and they are certainly in need of your prayers.

And, finally, some good news. There is a personal issue that I have really been struggling with lately, and I am happy to say that things seem to be improving. I'll be honest, it's not fixed, and the road ahead is a long one, but things are definitely looking up.

Most importantly, I am thankful for a God who is with me ALL of the time. He never leaves me or forsakes me. Through the calm and through the storm, He is ALWAYS beside me. I guess you could say that He is a God through the good, the bad, and even the really ugly.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This past week I absolutely did not let my three-year-old daughter turn back into a baby while we were at the beach. That did not include lugging her around on my hip all week, letting her have a binky (which she hasn't taken in a loooong time), or rocking her to sleep every single night. That would just not be good for her development, so I wouldn't do such a thing.

On said trip, I also did not feed the kids cookies and chips for breakfast or lunch, or encourage them to, ahem, pee in the ocean, or maybe even the pool. That is disgusting, and I would never encourage them to do that just so I didn't have to trudge around with two little sand covered bodies trying to find the nearest restroom. But, they did go #2 in actual potties, and I definitely did not make little man wipe his own bottom because I couldnt' stand the stench of the restroom at the waterpark. I wouldn't make him do that.

And my husband is not such a tightwad that I did not have to confront his lie (in front of a waitress nonetheless) when he tried to say that baby sister was 2. He knows she just had a birthday and turned 3.

I am ALWAYS completely honest with my children, and I would never lie or use scare tactics to trick them into being good. Not me! Thus, when both of the little ones cried and fought the entire nine hour drive to the beach, this conversation did not happen between Ethan and myself.

Mommy: You better be quiet, Ethan. We are getting ready to pass a cop car. Oh, here it comes!!

Ethan: Where? Where? I didn't see no policeman.

Mommy: Oh, you didn't? It was an undercover one.

At this point he starts crying uncontrollably.

Ethan: Liar! You lied to me!! Why would you lie to me, Mommy??!!

I most certainly did not get caught up in a lie by my five year old son. Christians don't lie, and Mommys don't lie to thier precious little children. So, I definitely wouldn't. NOT ME!!

"Not my child" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday!, with a special Not my child! edition. This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else (and their children) have not been doing this week.

My five-year-old son certainly is not the most outgoing, unreserved, unhumiliatable, brutally honest child that was ever born. Definitely not my son. He certainly never embarasses me or makes my chubby cheeks turn bright pink. Never. For instance, while at the beach this past week, upon meeting a mom and her young daughter, he certainly did not loudly exclaim for ALL to hear, "I was having a great time playing until THIS BRAT showed up." Not my son, and I was not cringing while looking for a large rock to crawl under. He did not learn a new name for his privates and try to incorporate that word into as many conversations as possible....he wouldn't do something like that. And on two separate trips to Wal-Mart, he most certainly did not make me wish I was invisible, first by hopping out of the van and peeing on the tires while shoppers near and far were given an unforgetable image. Furthermore, a male shopper was not overheard telling his family, "Hey, when you gotta go you gotta go....I wish sometimes I could do that!" On the second trip, he did not pretend he was driving in the front seat and hold up his toy rifle shooting passersby while singing Chris Tomlin's "I Will Rise." Definitely not my son. And he was also not the child honking the horn everytime someone walked directly infront of our vehicle startling them and making them jump. That was not him, he just would not do something like that. And, most importantly, my son always keeps his thoughts to himself and is always worried about hurting someone's feelings with brutal statements. He would NEVER say something that could crush someone's feelings and make them emotionally raw. I mean NEVER. So, I did not overhear him telling his daddy, whom, by the way, has been working out and dieting for a few weeks and is trying so hard to shed those unnecessary pounds, "Man, daddy, you sure are getting fat. Your belly is all the way 'out to here'." He just wouldn't crush someone like that. Not my son.

The Awful "C" Word

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

Change is not something I handle well. I never have. I probably never will. I can remember a time in first grade when my teacher (whom I adored...up until this point) decided we should switch desks halfway through the year to change things up. Everyone else was all giddy about having a new place to sit, excitedly checking out their new surroundings. Everyone that is, except me. It threw me off...majorly. I resented the girl who had MY desk, and I couldn't concentrate on anything because I felt so out of my element. Thus, this detest toward change started many, many moons ago. And it didn't get any better.

My dad is a pastor and we moved quite frequently while we were growing up. I was born in Ironton, we moved to WV several years later, we moved back to Ironton, then moved to Kentucky just a few years later, then we moved back to Ironton, and eventually to Wheelersburg where my family FINALLY decided to stay put....well kinda. Those moves were hard on everyone, but I think I dealt with it the worst. I can remember feeling like my life was over each and everytime my dad broke the news that we were moving. Now, don't get me wrong....I totally respect the fact that my father followed God's will all those years, even though packing up and moving a family of six (yes, there were four of us kids!) was rather difficult.

There is one time I remember I had an especially tough time dealing with things...after the fourth grade when my dad decided it was time to leave our church in Kentucky, and return to where I was born. Our final project of the schoolyear was to draw a picture of what we would be doing that summer. One by one, my classmates got up in front of the classroom, displaying beautiful pictures of vacations to the ocean (which I didn't even know existed) and mountains (that I'd never seen) and even trips to these huge waterfalls (that I had also never heard of....but I think they were far away...maybe even in another country). They told exciting stories about county fairs, amusement parks, 4-H, and girl scout camp. Everyone seemed to be so anxious for their fun-filled summer. Then.....it was my turn. I got out of my seat and walked to the front of the class, lump in my throat and tears threatening to escape my eyes. My drawing portrayed a much different sentiment than my peers....one of sadness rather than anticipation. I had drawn a picture of my family jam-packed in our woody wagon, all of our belongings strapped to the top of the car, leaving the place that had finally started to feel like home. My parents, sister, and brothers all had smiles on their faces. However, I had drawn myself with ENORMOUS tears falling down my face and the saddest expression my fourth-grade imagination could muster plastered on my stick figure's face. I held my picture up, and the only thing I could get out before bursting into tears was, "This summer my family is moving. And I don't want to." I was heartbroken. My teacher was quick to comfort me, and my friends and I all exchanged addresses and phone numbers vowing to stay in touch FOREVER. However, none of that provided me any comfort. It was change, and I despised it.



My animosity towards change has remained a constant in my life. Trips spent away from my parents throughout school always resulted in a homesickness so intense that I got physically sick. Graduation was gut-wrenching, as well as knowing that some of my best friends were moving away. I got married shortly after graduation, and even that was extremely hard for me. I cried on our honeymoon cruise because I missed my parents and my home, not to mention our German Shepherd Clifford who had just been "dognapped" the night of our wedding rehearsal. When we returned home (to OUR new home) I silently cried at night, missing my old home. The sounds were different, the smells were different, everything was different. In fact, if my husband had obliged, I probably would have just moved him in with me at my parents house after our marriage, although the thought of him sleeping on the trundle that was under my day bed is a little odd. But, that would have avoided alot of....you guessed it...change.



Change is still ever so present in my life. My life has changed since becoming sick. My roles of motherhood have changed since becoming sick. But, change has become something that I have realized I cannot avoid, rather I must accept it, if not embrace it. Life has changed so much this summer and will continue to change in the upcoming fall. Our household has changed quite a bit as Holly (the teenager that has been a part of my family since she was 6 months old) decided to move back home. She had lived with us since last October because of some issues she was having at home. And, even though I know this change was in the best interest for all those involved, it is still change...and it's not something I like. Our little man just turned five and will be starting kindergarten. That's definitely not a day I will be looking forward to. My baby girl is almost three and will be starting preschool in the fall. Life will be change-ing majorly, and I cannot even begin to fathom the changes that will take place over the course of my life, both good and bad. But, one thing that never changes is God's Word and His love, grace, mercy, and faithfulness to His children. There is a line from a song I so dearly love that says, "He will never change. He will remain forever the same." So, as long as God is on my side, change is something I can handle. I don't have to like it, or even pretend to, but I will perservere. Change will not defeat me, because I have the un-change-ing One on my side.

The grass withereth, the flower fadeth, but the word of our God shall stand forever. Isaiah 40:8

Waiting for Baby Jaxon

My family is currently anticipating the arrival of our newest family member, Baby Jaxon. He is 'scheduled' to arrive on September 11th, and will be the son of my baby brother Josh and his amazing girlfriend, Andrea, who has become one of my best friends. I have had a small case of baby fever lately, and since I lack the existence of a uterus, the timing of Jaxon's arrival is simply perfect. Ethan and Addy are so excited, constantly kissing Andrea's belly and telling her how much they love 'her baby'. Addy is not yet convinced that he is a boy, and when asked what the baby's name is, she simply replies "Girl." We are all so excited, and aunt Misty can't wait to meet him, hold him, smell his baby feet, wrap his hand around my finger, and kiss the bridge of his nose (that's a weird baby fetish I have). So, here's introducing Jaxon Ryan - inutero.

Jaxon's first ultrasound! 8 weeks

Jaxon at 12 weeks

Jaxon at 20 weeks

Jaxon's little feet! I love this one!

Jaxon's Nursery (I had to throw this one in here, because I am

IN LOVE with the bedding she has chosen for his nursery!!)

I already love you so much baby Jaxon, and I can't wait to meet you. Take your time, though and continue to grow healthy and strong in your momma's belly. You may be joining a crazy family, but one thing we don't lack is love.

Misty

On the Mend

I am finally on the mend after having surgery last Tuesday. This is the third surgery I have had to attempt to solve the problem I have with adhesions resulting from my two c-sections. This time I had my right ovary and tubes removed. I am very optimistic that this will take care of my problem once and for all, and that there will be no more surgeries. I am happy to say that the surgery went great and that I am healing wonderfully!! I had to be opened up completely, so the recovery has been somewhat slow. I was so excited, though, that I didn't get an infection in my incision this time. First time ever! I give all thanks to my Savior for being with me the whole time and for answering prayer. Even if He never answered any of my prayers, He would still be an amazing God.

In further news, my younger brother, Joseph (who just returned from Afghanistan), is getting married on Friday! He and his girlfriend have only been dating a few months, but they are "so in love" and are ready to take the leap. I am so happy for them and very eager to welcome her into our CRAZY family. They are not having a big wedding, just going to the courthouse, which definitely fits both of their personalities. She will be moving to Clarksville to live with him just outside of the base. No wedding, but I am so excited to plan a reception! That is my cup of tea, for sure. Just knowing my brothers, I never thought our family would grow past what it is today. However, my brother Josh and his girlfriend, Andrea, are giving us a new nephew in September, and now Joseph is getting married! I am so looking forward to our family expanding, and I am majorly anticipating getting to meet and hold my little nephew Jaxon. He is going to be Aunt Misty's boy...I just know that for sure!!